What’s in a name?

My blogging has been pretty woeful of late, but I think I have good reason for that. Y’see, this is predominantly a triathlon blog, documenting the high and lows of my racing and training, with occasional sideways glances at the sport and meandering journeys into the world of tri-surrealism.

And, of late, triathlon hasn’t really been on my mind. I’ve done a few rides and sessions here and there but consistency has been non-existent and I’ve also taken quite a few chunks of time off. Training hard has been replaced by working way too hard, then 10 days of eating and drinking way too much, while life has generally got in the way.

And then there’s the big news. As of the beginning of November, this blog, Desert Tri Tales, will be seeing something of a reboot, a rebranding, a rebirth if you will…  as it transforms into Triathlon and Tulips, or Remrandtriathlon, or Swim, Bike/Boat, Run or…well, I’ve not decided yet, but you get the point. This isn’t due to a newfound love of floristry, 17^th Century art or cruising, but, at the end of October, I’ll be swapping sand dunes and skyscrapers for canals and clogs as I move to the Netherlands.

If I’m being honest, I’ve been hankering after a move back to Europe for a while and the time was starting to feel right. Europe rather than the UK was always my preference – for whatever reason, lifestyle I guess, mainland Europe has always felt like a better long-term fit for me and I’d quietly decided to make a move back by the end of this year anyway. When a pretty young Dutch lass that I’ve been into for a decade or so suggested Amsterdam as a suitable destination, it seemed like the perfect fit.

Swapping THIS...

...for THIS.

So, there we have it folks. The times they are a-changing.

However, I do have five weeks left in Dubai and, although I’m not going to be around for any racing (and will then be moving to Amsterdam at the beginning of winter, so no more triathlon racing for a good six months or so...), I’m enjoying putting a nice big final consistent block of training in before I go. Sure, it’s not for a race or anything, but I’m just enjoying finding a bit of form, spending time swim/bike/running with friends and team mates, and getting to train outside while I still have the chance. And the Dubai weather seems to be obliging too, as summer is finally coming to a close it seems.

Swapping THESE LOCALS...

...for THESE LOCALS.

At the moment, it’s all giddy excitement about the move. But I’m sure there’s loads that I’m going to miss about Dubai too. But that’s a subject for another blog, I guess. 

Everyone is tri-ing it

Guess what… triathlon is cool!!!

Why’s that, you ask? Because it encourages a healthy lifestyle? Because it increases self-confidence? Because it improves productivity and overall happiness among those that participate? Because there are lots of cool gadgets you can buy?

Hell no! Coz the dude from Saved By The Bell does it, dumbass!

That’s right, AC Slater – he of the Soul-glo hairdo that was so Afro-licious that even T2A's Simon Kelly would envy him – now does triathlon.

And he’s not the only ‘schelebridee’ to get in on the triathlon act, either. Super-jock and regional wrestling champ AC Slater – sorry, I mean actor Mario Lopez – took part in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon back in 2009 and this is the epicentre of celeb tri. In fact, there’s a whole category just for famous folk.

Any young man in his early 30s out there will have fond memories of Teri Hatcher when she used to go out with superman. Although Superman dumped her long ago coz she has a face like a scary witch, Hatcher keeps her bod looking pretty darn good with a bit of tri – raising money for charity while she does it.

When JLo isn’t busy making up weird new names, she loves a bit of swim, bike, run too. She completed the sprint distance at Malibu in 2.23, which is longer but considerably less painful than most her films.

Jenny From da Frock - seriously, what the hell is she wearing?

Professional leaner and wooden actor, Matthew Mahogany, is big mates with Lance Armstrong and shares his love of endurance sports. Mahogany did the sprint in 1.30 which, let’s face it, is a bit rubbish for someone who has loads of money and no real job.

Nobody has ever seen Matthew Mahogany standing upright: true fact.

Mahogany leans on his handle bars.

The best Malibu triathletes, however, (best as in people I like most, not fastest) surely must be David Duchovny (climbs well over Twin Peaks), Jeremy Piven and Will Ferrell – who hopefully took part as research for a Blades of Glory/Talladega Nights/Semi-Pro style movie set in the world of Ironman!

Duchovny: has a star stuck on his privates.

There’s even an awesome celebrity triathlon couple in the form of Felicity Hauffman and William H Macy.

The UK equivalent of the Nautica Malibu Triathlon would be the London Triathlon, which the ‘always thought he seems like a decent bloke’ DJ and TV presenter Vernon Kay completed in 2010. Aside from him, the London Triathlon tends to attract some lamo Z-listers or rubbish relayers, like Dickie Branson, who did the swim in a tri relay a few years ago. P-Middy also took part in a tri relay, looking considerably better than Branson when she did the run at Blenheim a couple of years ago.

Vernon Kay: Even ex male models look silly in cap and goggles - good to know. 

The best celebrity triathletes (as in the fastest, not necessarily people I like the most) tend to come from the world of sport. The fact that they leave their own sport behind in order to challenge themselves in triathlon tells us one thing: triathletes are hard as nails.

F1 drivers, it seems, are fast around all courses. Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg can not only go close to 2hrs for Olympic distance triathlon (having access to a wind tunnel must help nail that aero bike position!) but both run around 35 minute 10kms, which is really impressive. Button won his AG at the Hawaiian Lavaman race recently and has even set up his own annual charity triathlon. Plus his supermodel missus now does triathlons. JB is a tri geek!

Cool personalised helmet on JB.\

Olympic rower and famous adventurer James Cracknell is a handy triathlete too, and has even represented the GB age groups team at the European Championships.

Rowers seem to do well. Rebecca Romero, who has Olympic medals for both rowing and track cycling, competed in Ironman UK earlier this year, qualifying for Kona with 11.10 on a notoriously challenging course.

Other athletes to take to triathlon include former 400m running supremo Iwan Thomas, ex England rugby international Nick Beal, plus a load of Americans I’ve, frankly, never heard of.

But you don’t have to be a former athlete, or even all that young, to be bitten by the triathlon bug.

 Former journalist and political aide, Alastair Campbell, now 55, has been a keen triathlete for a number of years, as has the 67 year old Sir Rocco Forte, who has several GB age group appearances to his name, as well as an impressive sub-12 hour time at Ironman Austria back when he was a mere 60-year-old whippersnapper.

Sir Rocco Forte

Have I missed anyone out? Any other A, B, C or D listers out there who like to try their hand at tri every now and then?