The first wobble

Until now, I’ve been really looking forward to Ironman, happy to be stuck into the training, excited to see the results of all this hard work. Until this week. If I were a golfer, this week I’d have had the yips. Were I a boxer, I’d have been thoroughly beaten at the weigh-in. Had snooker been my choice of sports, I’d have bottled it on the break. If I were a footballer, I’d have ‘done a Waddle’. In a nutshell, I’m having a nightmare.

Wobble!

I feel rotten. I’m struggling to remember what I’m doing this for. I feel like giving up before I begin. Basically, I’ve out-psyched myself. Triathletes, notoriously, are control freaks – finding the time to train for three sports, you have to be. Ironman triathletes are just freaks. We fine-tune, we look for constant improvement, we seek any small advantage (whether that’s to win an event or just to get through it).

Wibble Wobble!

Basically, I stopped trusting in the programme. To a degree, I guess this is inevitable – when training to put yourself through a massive challenge it’d be strange if you didn’t get some doubts here and there, right? Also, for the past two weeks there’ve been no morning swim training sessions as our coach has been away on holiday. This has involved quite a bit of shuffling sessions to fit everything in – this might sound easy but it’s not. Long run and long ride days, for example, can’t be back to back. Long rides can only be done at the weekends.  I need at least a day’s recovery between high intensity days… This disruption to my programme, it seems, has thrown me into a spin.

Also, this might just be a good old-fashioned case of nerves. I’m a half-decent triathlete – dump me in most races up to Olympic distance and I’ll finish in the top 25% of the field. But I’m certainly not pushing for the podium. For that reason, I rarely get too nervous before a race; I may feel a twinge as I enter the water ready for the start, but that’s all. So getting very, very nervous when still 10 weeks out is strange for me. Of course, it’s perfectly normal, healthy even – if I weren’t nervous, I could become complacent, and that would be worse.

Weeble Wobble!

Finally, as a control freak triathlete, I keep reading all the IM advice I can get my hands on and it’s steadily making me go mad. There are 1001 things to do, it seems, between now and IM. And I don’t mean training. I need to buy new tyres, try the kit I’ll wear race day, get my bike serviced, order all my nutrition gels online, check out the course, practise my nutrition and hydration routine, pick up new/old/spare goggles…the list is endless.

Womble!

So, I need to clear my head and trust my programme. We’ve a long weekend here in the UAE this weekend, which means I’ll be doing lots of riding. The next week is my first ‘recovery week’ (one week in four, you cut back on volume, frequency and intensity to allow your body to catch up, replenish, heal and soak up all the benefits from the past few weeks); then, I’m sure, I’ll be ready to dive right back in.

As for all the things that need doing, well, as I told you before, I’m a listaholic and I now have a new list to add to the, er, list. For the next couple of weeks, whenever I read a piece of advice or a tip that I like, I’m going to note it down and put it on my calendar. That way, I’ll know exactly what to do and when, and won’t lose sleep worrying that I may forget a vital piece of the puzzle (honestly – this is happening!).

All of this just makes me feel even more admiration for those who’ve done an Ironman, or even race them year in year out. The race itself – that 12-15 hours I spend swimming, riding and running – will only be a small percent of ‘becoming an Ironman’, I think. Whether it’s a good training session, practising a tyre change, buying a set of arm warmers in case the weather’s bad on the day, getting your bike serviced or trying out a new breakfast that gives you energy and your body responds well to…it’s all in the preparation.

There’s probably some sort of deep lesson for life in that – but I’m way too tired and in a bad mood to find it right now!