Bike porn...GRRRRRR!

As every triathlete or cyclist knows, there is one feeling that eclipses all of life’s other emotions and experiences. Sure, reaching the top of a gruelling climb feels pretty cool; watching the bike computer nudge past 80kmph as you smash through a long downhill is awesome; that little internal sensation you get when you’re in a race and know – just know – that you’re in great form and killing it is sweet too…

But none of these come close to the sheer primal exhilarating rush of buying a new bike!

The next best thing to buying a new bike, of course, isn’t setting a new PB or winning a race… it’s showing off pictures of your latest steed. And so, in true Slowtwitch style… ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my latest set of wheels.

BOOM! This little beauty is a brand-new (erm, well, about seven years old) Altra Bravo. You can try looking that up online but you won't find a website coz it's just so darn, like, custom and niche and specialist and stuff...

DING! Oh yeah... it's got a nice shiny bell from Halfords. Does your Shiv have that? Does it??? Didn't think so...

BANG! Look at that bottom bracket! And the kick stand! And the chain protector cover thing that keeps your chain a bit clean and stops your jeans from getting dirty. Cutting-edge.

BOSH! Told you it was cutting-edge. The T3 is, I believe, SRAM's response to Shimano's Di2 gearing. After all, who needs 20-odd gears when you can just have three? (has an added feature that means you have to actually hold the lever in 1st gear for it to stay, and have to stop pedalling for a couple of seconds to allow it to change).

WALLOP! That's a lock that goes through the back wheel. And a pannier rack. And some elastic thing. All fitted tightly around the back wheel mud guards for maximum aerodynamic efficiency. Apparently, the geniuses at Altra (or Bravo - not sure which is the brand and which is the model!) spent months in the wind tunnel perfecting this design.

PING! A rear-mounted extra scooter lock on the back tucked into the elastic thingymajobbies.

SQUEAK! Ohhhhh yeah. Now this is a bike riding saddle. How do I know? Coz it's got pictures of people riding bikes on it. Didn't think of that, did you ISM? Missed a trick there, hey Fizik?

Anyway, that's my latest bike. I realise that you're probably feeling pretty jealous now, so where can you pick one of these bad boys up? Well, RRP is €60 from some dude in southern Holland who has a house and harden full of second hand bikes (that may or may not be stolen...). You can find him on marktplaats.nl (Dutch ebay). Happy shopping.