Phwoar, look at the wheels on that!

A few weeks ago, I pointed out that throwing together a bit of carbon, a smattering of aerodynamic know-how, a couple of screws and a chain didn't always result in something swoon-worthy but, in the interest of fairness, I should point out that, most of the time, it does.

Tri bikes are beautiful, classy bits of kit that could be hung on the wall and admired for their sleek lines but, even when surrounded by a bevvy of luscious lovelies, some beauties still stand out a mile, as anyone who's been to a Swedish nightclub will tell you.

So (drumroll please), introducing our first contestant...a classic girl nextdoor cracker from the USA...

As I opened with a minging Trek last time, it seemed appropriate to redress the balance now. From another angle, you say? Alrighty...

The Trek Speed Concept is your classic looker - everything in the right place and well put together. For something American with a bit of bold Baywatch beauty about it, has sir considered the Scott Plasma?

Mmmmm. Or how about Specialized's new tri-specific Shiv? I'm not married but the Shiv makes me want to get married just so I can leave my wife to run off into the sunset with this bike.

Cor blimey! Look at the size of that downtube. 'A' grade bike porn!

I didn't know Louis Garneau made bikes but, judging by this effort, they should make more of them. Not sure why it's sat on an ironing board tho.

Sometimes it's all about where and how you meet. It could be the blue skies, or the sun twinkling on its Ferrari red frame, but this Guru Chrono does it for me.

 Unusual. Bit wide in the seat post. But I like it.

And not even a truly terrible wardrobe malfunction (white disc???) can detract from this little minx's beauty.

Never heard of Australian bike manufacturer Teschner before, but they build them nicely down under it seems.

But which is the slickest, sexiest TT bike of the lot? Real beauty surely comes from practicality - seeing something that is undeniably build for doing a certain job and gets it done with effortless grace and ease...like a Federer backhand. Therefore, true beauty in a tri bike is all about speed - looking fast - and for that reason the new BMC Time Machine gets my vote. Cadel Evans rode the hell out of it to win the Tour de France on the final time trial but, frankly, I'm pretty sure a one-legged grannie could set a land speed record on this thing just popping down the shops...just look at it - it looks mega fast. Stood still, it looks like it's champing at the bit to get out there and destroy all your competitors. In fact, it's so fast, it doesn't even need pedals.

One day, my lovely...one day.