Should amateur triathlon races have a 'semi pro' category?

Other than the couple of times I've managed to blag press passes and therefore enjoy swanning around the pit lane and sipping free drinks in the Paddock Club, I have to confess that I've never been a fan of Formula 1. It does nothing for me. But I love Jenson Button - he's a cool guy who seems humble and grateful while acknowledging how lucky he is and having a whale of a time with it. Exactly the type of millionaire we'd all like to think we'd be!

But it's not his attitude that I like; JB is a triathlete - and a bloody good one at that. There are two great rules in life: never trust a man who says he doesn't like football, and triathletes are always ace people. I've met a couple of exceptions, but on the whole they hold water.

However, I recently read an article singing JB's praises - a sort of 'how does he manage to do it all?' piece. Hang on a minute, I thought, this is a guy who's paid vast sums of money to stay fit. Swim/bike/run has been part of a driver's training for ages, and drivers from Alex Wurtz to Nico Rosberg have taken that further by participating in triathlon. JB gets his kit free from sponsors, I'm sure he's never paid an entry fee in return for a badly printed Fruit of the Loom t-shirt, and he has what not even Macca, Crowie, Chrissie or the Brownlees can afford: round the clock access to a wind tunnel.

Now, none of this detracts from what a damn fast triathlete JB is, but it seems a little unfair that, if I pitch up to the London Triathlon next year (another event, by the way, that is run by the devil's representatives on earth), I could be racing in the same category as basically the best funded pro triathlete on the planet!

Of course, this is unlikely to happen. But it did get me thinking about a scenario that occurs at every race in every country. I'm nowt special, but a decent enough triathlete - I'll come in the top 25% in most races, top 35% in the really big international ones and, in the smaller ones, I might even occasionally scrape a top 10. But of those who beat me, a decent percentage work either in the fitness industry or armed forces. Hardly fair that us pen-pushing, office-bound journalists, doctors, accountants, receptionists, telesales staff, MDs, CEOs, construction workers, HR managers...whatever...have to do an honest day's work and then head out to train, while these folks get paid to stay in shape! So, I propose a new 'semi pro' category of super fast guys and girls; while us desk jockeys do the real race. If they want a slice of the genuine action, they'll have to do the decent thing, give up their exciting and enviable careers and find a good, boring office job like the rest of us.

Just in case race organisers don't take me up on this, I'm going to organise my own triathlon. First, you have to blag your way into an exclusive invite-only event and eat a tray full of canapes and down 10 bottles of Peroni; next, organise a holiday for which you'll pay half or less of the actual price in return for promising editorial coverage; finally, you have to do a magazine deadline induced 48 hour straight shift, sustained solely by Burger King deliveries and bad instant coffee...ha, then we'll see how they like it when it's stacked in us journos' favour!